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断舍离 该从哪里下手?

提前清理遗物其实并不悲 伤,反而会带给你更多的美好故事。

瑞典画家玛格丽塔·曼努森(Margareta Magnusson)的作品曾在新加坡、香港等地展览。多次为人整理遗物,并提前帮自己清理遗物的她,也被称为“整理遗物达人”。

她在著作《死前断舍离》中,以轻松逗趣的语调,带领读者细细回顾品尝漫长人生路的点滴欢笑。她说:“提前清理遗物其实并不悲伤,反而会带给你更多的美好故事。”

请注意,整理家中物品是很费时的事。老人家通常会觉得时间过得太快,其实是我们动作变慢了。所以,别再蹉跎了……

如果你继续等下去,这个新任务永远完成不了。但只要稍加练习,将来你处理不需要的物品时,肯定更加得心应手。相信我,你花越多时间检视你的物品,就越容易决定什么要留,什么要丢。功夫下得越多,速度就越快;也许还会发现有个额外好处,那就是趁自己还有体力心力的时候,亲自把家里的无用之物丢弃,原来是非常痛快的事。

就从地下室、阁楼和前门的橱柜开始,这些都是我们暂时存放多余物品的好地方。虽说是“暂时”,可是,有很多东西可能已经待在里面无限久了。或许你根本已经忘了那些地方放了些什么东西。

这样也好,因为这下子你总该明白,就算你当时随手把那些东西扔了,事后也不会懊悔。

走到这些收纳区,把藏在里面的东西挖出来。也许有个娃娃屋,或冰上曲棍球具,多半都是些你自己不想要的东西。有时候你家阁楼已经塞满,只好把东西放到别人家阁楼!实在糟糕至极!哪天你撒手人寰,有谁能帮你清理那些东西?

让你的家人和朋友知道你打算怎么做,也许他们会想帮帮你,甚至拿走你不需要的东西,或帮你搬动一些太重的东西。你会发现陆陆续续有你喜欢(或不喜欢)的人过来,带走一些像书本、衣物或器皿之类的东西。

也许你哪个孙辈或某个人刚好搬进人生第一间公寓,邀请他们过来,让他们看看你家里的东西,跟他们说说那些东西(甚至你的人生)的精彩故事。别忘了事先准备好袋子或纸箱,边聊天边把东西装起来,好让他们随时可以带走。 

从大型的开始

先别急着处理照片,信件或其他私人文书也可以慢慢来。

浏览旧照片或信件的过程往往妙趣横生,不免也带点感伤。有一件事可以确定:如果你选择从照下手,结果一定 是 卡在回忆的长廊绕不出来,最后什么都整不成。

你必须先把家具和其他物品的去处安排妥当,再来处理那些你基于某些原因保存下来的照片和书信。一般来说,整理遗物的时候,物品的体积是优先考量。先从家里的大型物件开始,把小东西留到最后。照片承载着太多情感,会阻碍你的进度。但它们又太重要,所以这本书里有一章专门讨论它们。 

不留一丝痕迹

我父亲曾经更换执业地点,搬迁时碰到几件烦心事。他是医生,诊所里收藏着所有患者的病历表,当然得要用最安全的方式处理。所有病历资料如果不是手写,就是用他的雷明顿打字机打出来的,因为那时还没发明电脑。正因如此,他轻易就能销毁所有档案,不留一丝痕迹。我们在乡下的家把所有病历都扔进废弃油桶,放把火烧了。另一个问题是存放在他书桌抽屉最内侧的一个小包裹。里面是一大块砒霜!那块砒霜是早年因为担心德国入侵准备的,已经放了将近三十年。我想不通父亲为什么迟迟没有把它处理掉,也许他忘了吧。或者他觉得家里放点毒药没什么害处。我把那块砒霜送到药房的时候,药剂师一脸困惑,但他还是收下了。

我清理父母房子的时候,还发现一件教我一头雾水的事。我母亲有一座专门存放织品的大柜子。刚烫好的毛巾和餐巾就放在最底层,确保每一件都能平均使用到。我在一叠枕头套的抓绉饰带后侧,发现她的劣习:好几包香烟。

究竟何谓劣习?我猜是对我们没有好处的习惯。如今我们离不开手机、游戏和其他许多物品,这些东西跟香烟盒不一样,就算我们死了,也不容易被揭发。也有人衣柜里塞满他们偷偷喝掉的琴酒和威士忌空瓶。人死后往往留下很多八卦,变成人们茶余饭后的闲聊话题。 

没有必要让秘密曝光

或许爷爷抽屉里藏着女用内衣,奶奶衣柜里的则是假阳具。话说回来,那些又有什么关系?他们都已经作古,如果我们真的爱他们,就不该为这些事大惊小怪。只要不伤害别人,我们不妨拥有各自的小癖好。

不过,如果我们事先帮自己整理遗 物,走的时候不要留下太多那类物品,或许也算是为那些替我们整理遗物的亲人做点事。只留下你最喜欢的假阳具,其他那十五根都扔了吧!没有必要留着那些日后会害你亲爱的家人受到惊吓或心情郁卒的东西。

也许你手边还留有 某 些信件、文件或日记,里面记载着会让你的后代感到难为情的信息或家族历史。在我们生活的这个时代,似乎每个人都觉得自己有权得知所有秘密,我个人并不赞同。如果你认为某些秘密会让你亲爱的家人受到伤害,或伤心难过,请务必销毁。生一堆火,或把它们送进饥饿的碎纸机。

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